Man: [At vet with three cats, including Mr. Evil] How soon can I have him castrated?
Vet: He’s gotta weigh five pounds or so. Looks like about one pound now. Few more months.
Man: Grr.

Had the big cats vaccinated and Mr. Evil got wormed at the vet. Also got some ear mite medicine for him that gives him a spiky look, like a skinny hedgehog.

Since getting the worm pill, he has developed a tendency to vomit once or twice a day, although Gamma figures he might have been coughing up the fingers of her pink knit glove, which he ate.

Unlike the house where I grew up, where my mother was the one who cleaned up all the gross animal byproducts, the idea that women are inherently better suited to deal with animal grossness cuts no ice in my current house, and i get to clean up after him.

Also, there is a brand-new scratch on the front of my cello, almost two inches long, that my teacher and I agree looks suspiciously like a kitten scratch.

On the plus side, as I have mentioned, he looks like an emaciated hedgehog with his spiky hair. And he tolerates being placed on my shoulder like a pirate’s parrot, while I walk around the house going, Arr.

I am home on vacation over the holidays, see, and for the time being, while the others work and go to school, it’s just me and the cats.

He also likes to be placed under my sweatshirt, where he sleeps. I tried this on one of the big cats, and he took it for a while, and tried to pretend he was a cute kitten as well, but he had a guilty, embarrassed look on his face and then he suddenly panicked and clawed his way out so only Mr. Evil gets to ride that way now. Yesterday I took him outside like that while I fed the birds, his friends.

Last night he found my adam’s apple, which is not especially prominent, and slept there for a couple hours, purring loudly.

Right now he’s on my lap, watching the cursor blink.

He also knows where all the keyboard shortcuts are, and likes to pause, or sometimes shut off completely, the movie when we are watching a DVD on the iBook.

He just now pounced and turned the sound back on.

And so on.