You will need:

• Tube of clear silicone caulk

• sheet of plastic lunch wrap
• acrylic paint
• bits of stuff

Directions: Spread the plastic lunch wrap on your work surface. Squirt out enough silicone into a little dish you can throw away. Oh, add a little dish to the above list. Mix in just a little acrylic paint until it is the silicone is the color of cat vomit. Spread it around on the plastic wrap until it has the right shape. Add bits until there is no way to distinguish it from real cat vomit. It helps to get silicone on the tops of the bits sticking out, they have to look as if they have been inside a stomach.

For bits, Gamma and I used real (dry) cat food, styrofoam bits that had been painted with acrylic paints (raw and burnt umber shades worked well). Most realistic bits were, however, bits of cleaning sponge we painted. Least realistic bits were the M&Ms we added as a joke, and cornstarch based packing peanuts, which dissolved when painted.

Let dry, we waited overnight. Next day (1 April, coincidentally) we peeled off the vomit and left it in various places around the house (we made two).

Result: disappointment on our part, as no one fell for it on April Fool’s day. Could be our sneaking off to my workshop every evening and giggling like maniacs tipped them off.

But I ask you, is a week of giggling like maniacs not reward enough?

Also: no one fell for our fake turtle shit either (blobs of silicone – some quite realistic – painted with Van Dyke Brown (I wanted to just paint them black, but Gamma pointed out correctly that turtle shit is van dyke brown)).

Update: OMA FELL FOR THE CAT VOMIT!!! AND SO DID BETA!!! Gamma fooled them by putting it on a chair, where it looked more realistic than it had on the floor!!!