- Give it a posh foreign-language title like Bel Canto
- Set it in an unnamed, vague, preferably South American country.
- Include plenty of cliches, such as Latin American revolutionaries and Japanese magnates.
- In fact, hang the entire bloody thing on opera, to suggest passion, culture and intelligence; this way you don’t have to actually portray or display any of these things in your story.
- Make a basic German error on page one in your smartypants Mozart quote that anyone who actually was fluent in the language would have caught.
I rarely put down a book. I always start every book I finish, and nearly always finish every book I start. But man, five strikes and you’re out. I couldn’t handle more than 10 pages of Bel Canto. Did any of you read it and like it?