Taking applications for international conspiracy. Knowledge of foreign languages, esp. Russian, Latin, French, German, Slovenian, Italian etc helpful. Also needed: graphic design skillz, computer programming knowledge, and/or general deviousness or deviancy. Willingness to travel helpful but not necessary. Apply to metamorphosist (“at” sign) gmail.com. All applications confidential.

(since this is top secret, i’ll be closing comments on this post. contact by email only)