Dad, want to hear a joke? Gamma asked me.
Okay, I said.
A guy walks into a bar, she said.
(I love it when little girls tell me jokes that start that way).
He orders a beer, she said. After it comes, a big, mean guy appears and drinks it down in one go. The first guy starts crying.
What kind of sissy are you, the big tough guy says, crying over a beer?
It’s not just the beer, the first guy says. This morning, my wife left me and I decided to kill myself. I tried to hang myself, but the rope broke. I tried shooting myself, but the gun jammed. Now I just put poison in my beer, and you drank it.
She told me the joke about twice a day for a week. Luckily it’s a funny joke.
My god daughter has a joke she tells me everytime I see her.
When is the best time to see the dentist?
Two Thirty (tooth hurty).
So, when the dentist suggested I come for my next cleaning at 2:30, I totally cracked up and she looked at me like I had lost my mind.
My grandson likes this –
Gas smells awful,
Nooses give,
Guns are unlawful,
You might as well live.
Dorothy Parker
i told kein the “a guy walked into a bar…. OW!” joke yesterday and am already regretting it.
my liddle sis has a devastating bar joke:
a grey horse goes into a pub named ‘the grey horse’ and asks for a pint. the bartender says as he serves the pint, “do you know this pub is named after you?” and the grey horse says, “what? brian?”
admittedly, she only tells it when she is extremely drunk.