There is so much

that I cannot tell you, because it is a secret or because I do not know it myself, or both, or because it is private thing.
We visited friends out of town this weekend, Gamma and I, and when we got home she just cried and cried because she was so tired from a fun trip and so relieved to be back home and relax. I told her I knew just how she felt, because I do.
Things have been exploding a bit here lately and the worst part is, it’s partly good and partly bad and difficult for me to put into proper perspective.
Meditation and journal writing didn’t enable me to get a handle on it; things just got worse, which may have been because of the meditation, or the journal writing, or the getting up an hour early to engage in those activities, or things may have been even worse without doing those things; maybe they ameliorated the situation; or maybe the situation just felt worse, and it was a good thing that it moved in the direction it did.
Gamma advised me to get more sleep, and pointed out that I could meditate at night, as she does, staring into a corner of the ceiling for fifteen minutes before closing her eyes to dream.
I have decided to try something new: I will try taking people’s advice, prioritized by their proximity to my core. That is, my own advice first, then that of my wife, then family and friends.
They all tell me to get enough sleep, so that is my new priority. Journal writing I shall try to squeeze in at lunch, once the weather gets warmer I will sit on a park bench and scribble perhaps. Or it will be squeezed in some other time. Evening meditation, because I do need that, or at least am unwilling to drop it just yet, having tried and prematurely dropped so much in my lifetime.
I will sleep at least eight hours nightly for the next fortnight and observe my situation at the end of that period.
I will write about things closer to me and less made-up shit, as my wife has advised me.
I will eat healthy things in moderate quantities, and clean my room, as my mother advised me a long time ago.
I will endeavor to exercise three times weekly, as advised by my body. I will keep my hair good and short, as advised by my hair-cutting person. I will practice cello daily, for as long as possible, as advised by my teacher.
I will unlock the door and let them out, then unlock it and let them back in, and feed them and let them back out and then back in, and give them some of that chicken, and not get so bent out of shape over just a hairball, as advised by my cats.

4 responses to “There is so much

  1. take my advice first though, because i have the nicest freckles.

  2. Advice is cheap and plentiful, like air. And, like air, the quality is variable.

    I’ve taught classes in personal journaling and the one thing very common, I’ve found, is people saying “there’s no time”. I usually recommend actually making a schedule of what you do all day, a very honest schedule including all activities, small and large. Look at them and decide which are the most important. There are bound to be a few less important items here and there. Those can be made less important than writing in the journal. Maybe hairball cleanup falls into that stratum.

    Another little thing I picked up is that when you have learned to meditate, you can do it anywhere, any time. If you need a special time, a special room, or special music — whatever — then that thing is doing the meditation, not you. The goal is to be able to meditate while standing in heavy traffic on a busy highway (not that I recommend the location. It’s an analogy, I suspect.) With that in mind, meditation doesn’t require a certain time or place. You can do it on your bathroom break, or waiting in line at the bank.

    Personally, I meditate best when I am singing. I used to meditate well while playing piano, when I still played. I also meditate while doing beadwork — that is, my mind clears of everything, and I’m not even thinking about what I’m doing, I’m just doing it. Singing is best, though, because of the thought about breath. I don’t know how much breathing is required to play the cello, but that might be another good place to meditate.

    Not that my advice is particularly useful or good, mind you. Like random elevator air, it could be full of nasty cheap perfume.

  3. have to be a bit nippy as expensive hotel line but, MIG GUSH I LOVE YUOR BLOG and you have just cheered me up after a very long and navel gazing rehearsal and the meditating stuff is great! Keep at it even if it’s just to make me chuckle! xxx (and thanks for bday wishes too.

  4. mig

    Or, I could start a blog, and then I’d have an ONLINE journal.