Sometimes you find yourself inside a joke. A blonde does something silly right in front of you. Maybe you’re even the blonde. You’re sitting in a pub, and a duck walks in, or a horse. You’re golfing, and Bill Gates, God and Tiger Woods play through.
But then space/time rights itself and, you know. Was that really a duck? You say.
I’m stuck in a joke at the moment. One of my favorites. You know the one about the traveling salesman and the farmer’s nasty, pulchritudinous daughters? That’s not the joke I mean. You know the one about the rabbi… the guy, who goes to the rabbi because his house is just too small for his wife and his kid and his cats and the turtle tortoise? And the rabbi says, but I thought your kid was in France? And the guy says, yeah, that’s the other kid. And the rabbi says, well, let someone stay over and he does, he lets his daughter’s friends stay over on the weekends and he throws birthday parties with a dozen eight-year-old kids but that doesn’t help so he goes back and the rabbi says, so let your father-in-law move in while your mother-in-law is in the hospital and he does but that doesn’t help so he goes back and the rabbi says, now that your MIL is out of the hospital, let her move in as well, she can occupy the sofa and dispense good advice and you can install one of those raised toilet-seat things in the downstairs bathroom and the rest of youse can use the upstairs bath and toilet because the raised toilet-seat thing is so scary-looking.
And the guy shrugs and tries that. Doesn’t help. Then the plumbing breaks and the downstairs bathroom floods and they have to turn off all the water in the whole house and go to work unshaven and unbathed until the plumber comes and fixes it. And his FIL can’t find the tortoise out in front of the house one evening when it’s time to put it back to bed so he goes out and helps him look for half an hour until his wife asks them what they’re doing, running their hands through the mulch and cursing, and they say looking for the tortoise and she says, Why? I put it to bed half an hour ago. And she laughs, and laughs.
And the guy, thinking how good it’s going to feel when the inlaws move back out, goes back to the rabbi and knocks on the door and Rod Serling answers and he asks for the rabbi and Rod Serling says, What rabbi? Perhaps you have the wrong door. And the guy goes back out into the street and it’s infinitely long and all the doors look exactly the same.
That joke.
Oh, that joke. Be happy, you seem to be in the short and merciful version. The long version has assorted livestock movinng in including the billy goat.
I’m inside that joke every day, my friend.
i wonder if that joke inspired kafka to write the metamorphosis.
Were you sleeping at your desk again?
aw man, I *love* that joke.
‘Rabbi, my daughter is so ugly, I don’t know how I’ll find a husband for her.’
‘How ugly is she?’
“She’s so ugly, you could lie her on a plate next to a piece of herring, and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.’
‘What kind of herring?’
‘Errrrr … Biskmark.’
‘Too bad … if it was Matjes, she’d have a better chance.’ —paraphrased pretty closely from Woody Allen but can’t be bothered to look it up
Oh, I love that joke. Man, I’m sorry.
Hi,
It is not the first time I am posting here, I would have sent you an email but I didn’t find your email address on your blog. My name is Julien. I am building a new website for expatriates, and will be the webmaster of http://www.expat-blog.com. In the last three years I have spent a lot of time travelling and living away from my home country, hence me setting up http://www.expat-blog.com.
I had the idea to create a blog so I could share my experiences of living abroad and keep in touch with my family and friends. While reading other expatriate blogs the idea came to me to create a classified expat blog directory. This would include a free blog hosting platform with interesting features such as picture albums designed specifically for expatriates. I do not believe this would be in competition with existing blog platforms such as blogger.
The website is still in working progress. The present situation is as follows:
> The expatriate blog directory, including a classification per country and language – I am working on this at the present time
> The free Blog platform
It seems your comment nanny does not agree with my assessment and accessories recommendations. Feh twice.
Sorry about your dream, anyway.
One suggestion involves a media player of the sexy I-can-get-you-a-good-deal-on-em variety, and very good but cheap headphones. The other some nice, dark, high-contrast rose colored lenses. Those work pretty well for me.
going through my log, i see rejection of a comment containing “f4cial” and one with the word “d1sc0unt”. i’m guessing yours was the latter.
i’ve removed some of the more innocuous words from the filter, i hope that helps without letting too much spam through.
The $t1on4ln4y oc14l1sts4y 4rtyp4y wants you!
not funny — we’re being hit by a wave of r1ght-w1ng sp4m at the moment.
Ahh, I had the joke experience recently (well maybe a chuckle moment if not a full joke). I had used the mower to mow up some hedge trimmings. It mulches the trimmings nicely but my wife is sure that it abuses the mower to mow up even small sticks with it.
Our lawnmower wouldn’t start the next time I used it. My wife was all “uh-huh, I told you so, I checked with my friends and all their mowers last longer than ours do” (this wasn’t the first mower we ever had that stopped working).
I was shamed and took the mower to the shop. It turned out that when I had actually added oil to the mower (a rare occurrence) I had put too much in and when it was drained out and cleaned it worked fine.
So the ironic chuckle moment, as I related to my wife, was that the mower had stopped because of my attempts at MAINTENANCE rather than my abusing its chopping powers.
My wife didn’t chuckle.
Me too. It’s global apparently. Most but not all is in German, which I could read, more or less, if I wanted to — but really, why do they bother? Their target communsity over here can barely read English.