If only I could change perspective in time.
If only the door on the medicine cabinet would swing open a few degrees in time, revealing the madman before he buried the red fireaxe between the starlet’s scapulae.
If only it occurred to you in time that no, you don’t have to take this shit from this person at this time.
Shaving this morning, I paused and wondered if lonely people, when they are adults, have invisible friends or if they, like I just had in the shower [those of you who have seen American Beauty are going Ew right now, aren't you?] have whole invisible pubs they go to, where they sit down and strike up conversations, or allow conversations to be struck up, that they never would or at least never end up doing in real life.
Do you do this? Sit down for a drink in your imaginary bar and someone sits down at your table, This seat taken?, and from the way the regulars are ignoring this person, you know that they must be a bit odd if not dangerous, and very possibly dangerous. At my bar, the person is often Howard Hughes. But before I can ask him about Gwen Stefani or what it’s like to wander around Death Valley he’s explaining my life to me.
Saying things like, You must dig up the .38 from where you buried it in greasy rags beneath the bridge and complete your mission.
No, he says things like, What did you expect? Have an insight into your life and They give you a prize, whoever They are? Things suddenly get easier? That’s magical thinking, pal.
And a bunch of other stuff.
careful there. you’ll wind up at chumley’s rest, you and your “friend” that only you can see.
thank you for not making him a giant bunny rabbit. That always bugged the shit out of me.
Mine is an imaginary coffeehouse, actually, and it’s never Howard Hughes sitting next to me, but the rest… yes, that’s quite familiar.
Yikes.
Ew.
So I’m lonely because I have all these invisible friends…
Do you ever have these conversations with your real friends, even they are not present? I often do. And letters, looooong long letters I have written, in my head. If I really have send all those letters..
Mig,your blog very often makes my day. We all need something funny or beautiful to think middle of all the terrors of ordinary workdays.I thank you of giving that something!
Thanks, Aikku. You don’t know Perttu Kivilaakso by any chance, do you? I’m going to go see Apocalyptica in Vienna next Monday, and I’d really love to meet his carbon fiber cello.
Unfortunately I haven’t met Perttus cello lately, our family spends mostly time with flutes and quitars, but enjoy Apocalypticas gig!
Not lately. So you *have* met it, though…