A paperboy was delivering his papers early one dewy, pristine morning on his route in Las Vegas when one got stuck in a bush outside a big house where these two guys lived. He sighed and got off his bike and climbed the fence and using a stick dislodged the newspaper from what he now realized was not a bush, but a smallish catalpa tree. Then he looked up and saw a large white tiger bounding across the huge lawn in his direction. He reacted quickly and took off running in the other direction until he came to the back fence, where the yard ended at the brink of a cliff. It was jump or be eaten so he jumped.
On his way down, he managed to catch hold of a small juniper bush growing on the otherwise sheer face of the cliff. Looking up, he saw the white tiger snarling down at him, growling a low growl. Looking down, he noticed a second tiger on the ground below, pacing back and forth, waiting for him to drop.
Looking to his left, he noticed a pack of cigarettes someone had lost. Looking to his right, he noticed a glass of gin. His first impulse was one of grief, because although he could hang there from the bush with just one hand, that left only one – he would have to choose between the cigarette and the gin.
Carefully, he got the cigarettes open with his now-free hand, got a smoke out and lit it with the lighter from his pocket. Then he realized that, with that action complete, he could drink the gin as well, dangling the cigarette from his lip. The smoke got in his eyes a little, but that was nothing compared to two tigers.