It’s okay to be obsessed with Condoleeza Rice, or Condoleezza Rice for that matter. It’s a normal, okay thing.
Driving home yesterday, I was reminiscing about when I used to date her.
I remembered the following details, for starters:
- Condoleezza Rice can melt lead in her mouth.
- Condoleezza Rice can unlock doors with her eyes.
- Condoleezza Rice wears a brassiere made of pure hammered platinum.
- Condoleezza Rice can drive a forklift through a crowded warehouse at 35 mph, backwards.
- Condoleezza Rice dreams the same dream every night.
Wouldn’t it be great if Condoleezza Rice and George W. Bush were having an affair? I feel like, if that we were true, it would give us a big leg up on understanding why things happen the way they do.