Family values update

(An update to this.)
Keeping the United States safe from piano teachers.
This is such a sad thing. Was she in the wrong? It looks that way. Should they let her stay? I think so.
Is it right to seperate her from her husband and child? If only she picked grapes instead.

Break

School vacation next week. In Austria that means you have to go skiing. I got fancy carving skis for Christmas so there’s no escape. Maybe it will be fun, who knows. I will not be blogging during that time. I’ve uploaded a bunch of old Bug comix and hopefully will remember to activate them before I leave. I will be back on the seventh or the eighth of February if all goes well.

Insight

I’m the age my father-in-law was when I first met him. I mentioned this to Alpha, and she was all like, “and?”

I met him in the hospital. Alpha had her appendix out. We’d been out for a walk, you see, and she had stomach pains and I took her to the hospital and the doctor said, “you’re pregnant,” and she said, “no, I’m not,” and the doctor said, “then you have appendicitis,” and they operated on her.

I was so bored back then I visited her daily for hours. And her parents dropped by and her father regarded me with suspicion. I sometimes wonder what I’ll do when Beta brings a boy home. I think I’ll show him my knife collection, and then show him where I chop wood in the cellar. “This is my axe,” I’ll say. “It’s nice and sharp,” and I’ll smile like Jack Nicholson.

Then I remember, she’s already brought a boy home and I went upstairs and logged on to the Internet until he left.

Posted by in The Bug

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Head case

    C: [Knocks on door.]
    Man: [Opens door]
    C: [Rubs against door frame, licks ass. Looks at person who let him in]
    Man: Hi.
    C: [Eyes get enormous. Flinches, cowers. Crouches, ready to flee.]
    Man: Oh, calm down, would you?

    C: [Takes a step back, then another]
    Man: It’s only a haircut. It’s still me. See? [Smiles, shrugs.]
    C: [Cowers, with a very serious expression on face.]
    Man: What is it with you and heads, anyway? Whenever my head changes it freaks you out. I wear a hat and you have a heart attack. It’s just a haircut, dude.
    C: [Jumps straight up and darts under kitchen table when man raises hand and runs fingers through short, stubbly hair. C's eyes glow in dark.]
    Man: Sorry, was that a threatening motion? You and heads.

    C: [Flinches, ready to run]
    Man: BOOGABOOGA! GRAAAAGGHH!