We briefly glance in on a random bi-cultural couple shortly before Christmas:

Miguel: You in an autoaggressive mood or what? Just tell me where the Christmas tree place is.
Alpha: “Auto aggressive”? Big words, little man.
Miguel: Grrr.
Alpha: Same place it is every year.
Miguel: Where. Is. It.

Alpha: Don’t tell me you don’t know.
Miguel: Left side of street or right side of street:
Alpha: Hah. Hah… Hah.
Miguel: You are so like two minutes from walking, Alpha.
Alpha: There’s a sign. You’ll see it.
Miguel: Where.
Alpha: Soon. Keep your eyes peeled.
Miguel: Here?
Alpha: See the Christmas trees alongside the street.
Miguel: Those scrawny ones, you mean?
Alpha: Eh…
Miguel: Scrawny, sickly acid rain ones?
Alpha: Look, on the door the sign says Christmas trees.
Miguel: It says “Christmas trees sold only on 21 December out on the field.”
Alpha: Hrm.
Miguel: [Punches air]
Alpha: Let’s try the other place.
Miguel: What other place.
Alpha: Don’t tell me you don’t…
Miguel: Careful. [Squirts blood out eyeballs] Wait till you see what else I can do.
Alpha: We’ll have to go home, the ad we were sent is at home.
Miguel: [Sheds tail] How do you like that.
Alpha: I’m not impressed. I know it grows back.

We found a tree. We went to another village where these farmers had a big hall, concrete warehouse one mile long, full of trees of various sizes. Alpha asked and they agreed to deliver the tree to our house shortly before Christmas. That’s good because the custom here in Austria is not to put up the tree until the afternoon of the 24th. A little bell rings and the kids see the tree for the first time, decorated and with all gifts, live candles and (for the really adventurous) Wunderkerzen (miracle candles = sparklers) burning brightly. It is an impressive sight. As every year, I will keep a bucket of water handy. We also bought a bunch of mistletoe the size of a basketball for €5, which is roughly equivalent to $5. And a plate of various assorted Christmas cookies.