Last night was the hottest night every recorded in the history of Austria. Temperature-wise. Which means only one thing, of course: big end-of-school-year gathering in sweltering school. Here’s the equation: (Hot+humid) x Suit = Bad. At one point Alpha, who may have killed a man, asked to see the program, which I had in my pocket. “Ew, it’s all wet,” she said.

Another time, she said to someone we were sitting outside eating sausages and drinking wine with, “well, I just got back from Venice this afternoon.” Apparently she’d been in Venice this week doing something. I did notice I was busier than usual around the house.

Also, when I got home around 9 or so I turned on the sprinkler in the back yard and Alpha said, “Don’t forget to turn it off later on.” And I didn’t. Around midnight I remembered and turned it off. So the yard got a good soaking. I hope it convinces the ants to leave. The backyard is suddenly full of dozens of subterranean ant colonies. Bad for the grass.

Anyway. There was a fashion show. There were kids dancing, Beta among them. Dancing around the gymnasium to various music. They were actually quite good, choreographed by one of the girls, the skinny German one who’d attended a Montessori school. Amazing the variety of boob size and general morphology among seventh graders. I’m just saying. I have to be observant, I’m a writer; details are important.

Man was it hot in the gym. That’s where I handed Alpha the damp program. Then it ended, we staggered outside, some Indio band was playing pan flutes and drums and guitar and some little mandolin type thing and the pan flute player also had a nice little end-blown flute he played well and they also had a fiddler which gave them an almost Irish sound at times; they also sold trinkets high school kids like. We drank iced tea or wine spritzers and ate frankfurters before going back in at the last possible moment for the choir performance.

Gamma was on her best behavior, only farted on my lap a few times and didn’t put up much of a fight when I told her to quit pulling up her dress and flashing her panties at everyone.

Then we drove home. The parking lot was nearly empty when we got out to our cars, since as usual if there’s a party all of us are the last to leave. Then we slept. Then I got up and fed the cats. Now I’m at work sweating.