While I completely agree with Francis that the problem with the world today is that not enough people are nice enough, I would replace the word nice with kind. Niceness is, I think, a mask and a shield, allowing one to close one’s heart but avoid conflict, while kindness requires you to open your heart and be genuinely involved, and for this reason does not shield you or rule out conflict. This is my take on the two words, how I have experienced them, your mileage may vary. But I think being nice results in an accumulation of frustration and anger from not living one’s authentic self and from taking shit, while kindness, although more difficult and more work, does not require one to take shit. I would rather be kind than nice, and that’s what I aspire to. Unfortunately, I’m also afraid that this whole “no more Mr. Niceguy” thing could lead a lot of people to miss that point. It’s not okay to be a jerk.
43 sounds elderly until you get there, joeri.
Come to think of it, nice is a meaningless word altogether, a sort of non-committal filler. “Oh, that’s nice.” “Nice shirt.” “Stop acting bad and be nice.”
In other words, I agree with you mostly. I think. So, to recap: Kind we need more of; nice, well, who knows what it is anyway, really. If it’s conflict avoidance, well, it’s often not the best policy.
Then again, I hate conflict.
no, after you, francis, i insist.
yes, that’s basically it with the word “nice”. i never really thought about it until i met my now-wife and she started griping about the american usage of that word as, as you put it, a meaningless filler. how nice. isn’t that nice. what a nice place you have here. she’s such a nice person. so i developed an allergy to the word. but, yeah, i prefer to avoid conflict in most cases.
I agree with you on the defintios, kindness comes from the heart, it comes from caring about people. I think this world would be a better place if people cared more about others.