When my daughter was a little girl I was driving her somewhere in our old car. The day was rainy, she sat in the back seat. The windows were fogging up, the ventilation in the car wasn’t working so well. As I wiped the window, stopped at an intersection on a small road in a small village, she asked me, “dad, are you going to die someday?” and although I had of course thought about dying before, I had never before thought about my dying for her and what that meant, and I had to cry, realizing how much I love her and realizing, yes, this is it, right here, right now, this is all. I got my voice under control and admitted, “yes, I will someday.” “Will I ever see you again?” she asked, with her small voice. “I don’t know,” I said, “I hope so. But I promise, I will always be with you, I will always be part of you.” Because one way or another I know that to be true.

Right here. 47kb

Alpha wakes Miguel up early in the morning on 1 April:
Alpha: “Oh, I can’t stand it.”
Miguel: “Huh?”
Alpha: “I just did a pregnancy test.”
Miguel: “Eh?” [Uh-oh]
Alpha: “I’m… I’m pregnant again!”
Miguel: [Resigns self to prospect of a third child and being an old parent] “Aren’t you using that… that…?”
Alpha: “I guess it didn’t work! Wah.”
Miguel: [Finally remembers what day it is] “Oh, happy April fool’s day to you, too.” [Rolls over]

Tomorrow is Alpha’s birthday. We have a date. We will go eat at the Wrenkh restaurant, the fine vegetarian restaurant that was closed when we tried to visit it with Pat on his fictional visit to Vienna.

The Wrenkh has classy waiters and waitresses, young and attractive and stylish and competent. The food is excellent. I am looking forward to going there and engaging in stimulating conversation with my wife.

I am also craving red meat.

A big, fat juicy aromatic grilled oversized gigantic hamburger on toasted sesame buns, dripping grease and cholesterol and ten different condiments down the front of my suit. Slices of tomato and avocado sliding out the sides when I bite in. Maybe some chili and fresh onions in there somewhere.

My copy is printing out right now.

It wasn’t all untrue. It didn’t begin as a lie. The visit by Pat and Spacecheese was… was an amalgamation of real road trips in the past that were just too enriching and positive not to share. Facets of past visits gone wrong (or right)…

To all of those whose trust I have violated, to all of those disillusioned and hurt by the BlogCon Austria hoax: I promise to let you in on the joke next time.