Two of my cats, when they want me to do something for them at night – feed them or let them out or let them back in – sit and meow until I do it, like good little cats, even if it takes all night. Oliver, the oldest and largest cat, might try a meow, if he’s in the right mood, but if I don’t wake up immediately, he says, “fuck this shit” and proceeds to my night stand. He used to jump up onto it and knock things off until I woke up. Now, he has a broken hip and is lame so he stands on his back legs and rakes stuff off with his front paws – the alarm clock, my reading glasses, books. It’s only a matter of time until he snags the lava lamp.
My wife and I are both light sleepers. I suspect – and I suspect that Oliver also suspects – that we already wake up when he enters the room, at which point we have a pretending-to-sleep contest. When stuff starts flying onto the floor, this gets hard to maintain, and one of us usually gives up and gets up immediately to feed him. Usually me, cause it’s my shit hitting the floor.
One night, I tried locking him in the cellar after he woke me up. I figured it would be negative reinforcement. But he has this special way of scratching the cellar door that makes it sound like a madman is standing on the other side pounding and rattling it that makes it hard to sleep.