I made up a Buddhist joke while walking around on my lunch break, but it turned out not to be so funny.

I’m making progress in the ego-annihilation process, however. Basically, my ego did not exist yesterday. If by ego you mean that part of our brain that remembers to do things and otherwise organizes us. Yesterday I thought about an appointment I had in the evening so much, so continuously, all day long, that I ended up forgetting when it was and thinking it was an hour later and ultimately missing it. At home last night, I forgot to do every single last thing my wife asked me to do. How can a normal person forget so many things? No idea. I lay there in bed thinking, Ahhh, when she reminded me again. At first I thought, hell, I’ll just do it in the morning but it was too much stuff.

So I got dressed and did them.

Have I mentioned this already? I’ve been thinking about it ever since I read it quoted on someone’s blog. A Buddhist idea about not judging people, and how “judge” means not only condemning others or looking down on them, but also admiring or looking up to people.

It’s a fascinating idea. Ever since reading it, I’ve been all like, Bono, sheeyit, dude, and Mother Teresa? Nice wimple, baby.

When fall comes and you want to hide, you must do this:
Choose the right place.
Go where it is quiet.
Go where there are sticker bushes.
Go where things are the color of your shell.
From above, my shell is the color of bark chips and dead rose leaves.
I can dig down a foot if the earth is soft.
Unfortunately, under the big rose bush it is hard and rocky after six inches.
Still, cover myself up with bark chips and leaves, and They can look for me all night.
Calling.
Shining their waning little AAA pocket flashlights and calling my name.
Go to hell, it’s autumn.
Even just six inches down, it’s temperate and quiet and peaceful.
What if one of them steps on me?
Mother-f*cker
That would suck.
But they’re not going to step directly under no rosebush.
If they do though…
But they’re not.
Their voices fade faster than their flashlight batteries.
They give up and walk off, their office clothes yellow with sunflower pollen.
It is dark and quiet.
It is night, and I am buried and hidden.
Mother-f*cker, put me down.
Sneaky bastard.
Go ahead, put me in the habitat.
I’ve found a possible crack, I’ll climb out tomorrow when you’re at work.
If I don’t fall over onto my back or get wedged in vertically like yesterday.
And furthermore: tortoise, fool. Not turtle.

Elfriede Jelinek awarded Nobel Prize for Literature!!!!!

Woet!!

Oh, never mind.

This is very cool.

[Via South Knox Bubba]

“You were coughing last night, dad.”
“I have to stop smoking.”
“You shouldn’t smoke at all.”
“You’re right.”
“Are there tornadoes in Austria?”
“Nope.”
“No volcanoes either?”
“Nope.”
“Good. Austria is my favorite place to live.”

I got Gamma off to school this morning. We had that conversation while getting her dressed and brushing her teeth.

I woke up with a headache this morning. I had been up late with Beta, watching “Underworld” (? Is that right? The one about the werewolves and vampires fighting?) and drinking wine (just me – she’s not interested in wine yet).

It was hard to tell who was who during most of the film. They all had long hair, most of them, but the vampires washed theirs. They all wore long leather coats. Up close, the lycans looked like bikers or heavy metal band members, whereas the vampires were more, what, Placebo-fan-looking or something. When they were battling, it was often hard to tell who was who.

The only sure way to tell was, if they’re smoking they’re a vampire. None of the lycans smoked. The entire movie, in fact, was an allegory about the ongoing battle between smokers and non-smokers.

Overall, the movie rocked: acting sucked, script sucked, photography sucked, costumes sucked, direction sucked, weapons sucked, cars sucked, it was eminently confusing but, you know, chick in tight shiny black outfit.

There was something about the Michael guy being important somehow, I’m not sure what, either the movie was confusing on that point or Alpha kept coming into the room talking to us or both. But he at some point or another, the beginning or the end, ends up combining lycan and vampire in a single person, which makes him stronger.

And it occurred to me that I, too, combine smoker and non-smoker in a single person. I detest smoking and what it does to the way I feel and the way I smell. I hate the way it tastes and I hate supplying money (indirectly, since I still bum all my smokes) to, doubtlessly, rich, powerful lying immoral monopolists.

On the other hand, I continue to smoke, off and on. Only in my case, I fear it doesn’t give me triple-celled platelets. Or maybe it does, but they don’t make me “stronger than both”.