i shall not conform

i’m the anthropology student who dyes her hair blonde because it’s more rad than dreads, i’m the law student with a cute lip piercing who is smartly ridiculed by her boss for her interest in human and indigenous rights despite the pending publication of her paper on the herero genocide, i’m not anymore that wise three-year-old because i have lost that wisdom and feel lost in general in search of a promising future without the security of a promising present and don’t feel like potentially accessing that state with the help of fair-trade psychoactive substances, i’m the one who will build entire theories around your musings in an interview with me on migration and the potentially hierarchical aspects of its perception, i’m the one whose jokes you’ll never understand, i’m the one for whom the joys of self-righteous analysis of essays on (state) terror on the one hand and of the pure aestheticism of decorating cupcakes on the other hand lie not so far apart, i’m the one whose self esteem is shattered when it shouldn’t be, i’m the one who engages in self-destructive activity when really she should be pampering herself, i’m the one who loves and cannot be loved, i’m the one who more or less doesn’t or does give a shit, i’m the one who finds immense joy in nailpolish/doc martens and other beautiful things, i’m the one who really really wishes she had a cat but has to settle for bf’s snake plus dead baby mice, i’m the one whose freckles are a conversation starter, i’m the one you saw when you used to look at the stars and thought they blinked/winked, i’m the one who’ll actually tell you how she feels when you ask, i’m the perfect spy except for what you would lable anarchic tendencies and mild disgust for using technology in appropriate/predetermined ways, i’m the one who loves riddles and scavenger hunts and who will sniffle herself asleep if you beat her, i’m the one who could not be reincarnated in one single animal, i’m the one who’ll lecture you on voodoo/vodun/voudou etc., i’m the one who doesn’t do promises anymore, i’m the one who reads books in their original versions on the bus and who secretly buys a ticket, i’m a flame who can not and does not want to decide whether to flicker and die out, becoming glowing embers, or to burn high and bright.

i may overcome, but i shall not conform.

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2 Responses to i shall not conform

  1. admin says:

    heh. and i’m the one whose flip flops stick to the pavement because it’s so hot the rubber melts

  2. Jessica Lynd Donohoe says:

    I am so proud to consider you my second-something-once-removed sorta protege.

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