How to not punk yr kids

I didn’t have the heart to get even with my daughters for fooling me. Part of the problem was that I am too soft-hearted to freak them out when it came down to it, and part of the problem was that I am too wise to start an arms race with them, because I can’t see that ending well for me.

It was not for lack of ideas. After consulting with a friend, I had two plans that made me laugh until I cried, just thinking about them. An administrative hell plan for Beta (notice of eviction containing a grammar error (she is a stickler for proper grammar, among other things) and a contact # that puts her on perpetual hold, while Pachelbel’s Canon (of which she is sick) plays eternally); a medical hell plan for Gamma, requiring her to (among other things) collect urine samples and stool samples daily for a week.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg, of course. There were lots of fun, custom-designed details, like the stool-sample-kits would be especially constructed to be impossible to open.

For example.

But I decided not to go through with it.

It’s not that I choked. See the above.

After it became clear to me that I would not do it, I shared my plot with Gamma.

She laughed and laughed. A while later she told me she was sorry I had not gone through with my plans, because she had a really good idea now to get even.

Yes, sometimes the wisest move is no move at all.

6 responses to “How to not punk yr kids

  1. beta

    a) I know my dorm’s eviction rules, and legally, they couldn’t evict me before the end of January which is when I’m moving out anyway, and b) you’re the one sick of Pachelbel’s canon, not me.

  2. mig

    c) admit it, you know you would have dialled the number.

  3. mig

    d) thanks for the earworm, btw.

  4. Trish

    Can’t believe you bottled it. After all the background research I did on Beta’s exam schedule…

  5. Trish

    I’m laughing now remembering the special Wikipaedia entry we were going to create to support the existence of Gamma’s imaginary medical condition.

  6. mig

    I know. But I would have ended up on the losing end of this exchange, I’m pretty sure.