The Monster Index, I

The number eight looks so round and feels so eckig. Angular.

What color will the sky be when the sun expands to consume its child? Will mankind retreat to the outer planets? Will it be calculable, when to move to Mars, when beyond? When to seek a new galaxy?

Is it out of proportion, how we who know ourselves to be finite cling to infinity with our stories of afterlife, of reincarnation, of scientific possibility?

Here on this weenie little mote.

And yet: the dice stood on their corners. Did his hand touch mine when I picked them up for another roll?

Why do we need ghost stories? Because we see ghosts. Why do we need monster stories? Because we are monsters. Because we walk at night and sleep during the day and hide our true selves.

A society so adept at channeling desires, at controlling thoughts must perforce create monsters. When I think thoughts not my own, when experts tell me what to want and feel, and someone else’s desires steer me and my own die or hide, I am a monster. Never in recorded history have there been so many of us.

Unless religion did the same thing. Maybe it did. Was religion the advertising, marketing and entertainment of its age?

The democrats have a majority everywhere and still refuse to get anything big done. How would that work? What would be a step on the path to a big thing? How do you throw out those who should be thrown out, but have been preparing for the fight, without triggering 1. a (fake) civil war followed by 2. a (real) draconian crackdown?

Thanks for everything.

You’re welcome.

It’s over so fast, the world, so constant and permanent at first, changing so quickly here towards the end. Concerns not so important as we take them to be. So many ways to hurt a soul, to inflict pain, and so many blown opportunities to allay it. Also, though, this: so much more to every second than just this.

There is curiosity. There are lions prowling our neighborhoods. There is the possibility of everything while we (I) eat our (my) breakfast rolls and quietly die vor uns hin, someone talks to foxes in their dreams.

My wife met a fox on the sidewalk before our house one night, for real, which (reality) although hard to nail down we sometimes see as the opposite of dreaming.

Rod Serling: But is it?

What is the difference between loving someone and touching someone? Why touch them, anyway? Does it reduce pain or multiply it?

Five thirty in the morning, dark as shit, he looks for something at the kitchen table. Will he find it? He looks for peace and love and happiness. He finds joy and sadness do not contradict. He wants his daughters to smile, and mean it.

Do you know I’m here for you? Am I failing you? Isn’t that what father’s do?

5 responses to “The Monster Index, I

  1. Wow Mig. How very beautiful your writing.I always feel strange commenting but compelled to do so. There is such thought and poignance. And the words linger provoking thought. Thank you.

  2. mig

    thanks, kelly. remember, i have a book coming out just in time for christmas. well, “coming out”, that’s maybe overstating it. or, maybe understating it, to be honest. it’s going to be hand bound, after all. that’s gotta be worth something. one will even have kitty paw-prints on the cover, how’s that for unique.

  3. mig

    i mean, thank you for the nice comment, kelly. i had way too much coffee for lunch today, i think.

  4. Wow.

    “When I think thoughts not my own, when experts tell me what to want and feel, and someone else’s desires steer me and my own die or hide, I am a monster.”

    Yes. Only I don’t find it’s the advertisers and marketers so much as peer pressure: “This is what EVERYONE wants.” So there’s this assumption that I would want to drive a beemer and spend my vacation days in some spa. Yuuuuuucck. I would be a monster if I succumb to that.

    Will there be tortoises and slugs in your book?

  5. mig

    yes, but who turned the peers into monsters?
    the book: marine creatures only this time. the tortoise originally wrote a foreword, but i decided not to use it (there) because it wasn’t oceany enough.