Gotten today:

Yelled at, sad, hungry, sandwich, two bananas, rained on, money from the cash machine, no cellphone, in roughly that order.

I’ve been without a cellphone for some time now. Maybe I give good emergency, because I am regularly told I should have one so I can be called in an emergency. Have an emergency? Just call me. I’ll say, Oh that’s too bad. And, What sort of an emergency are you having, and You, of all people.

I’d have gotten a replacement long ago but the very idea makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to go into an electronics store and weigh my options. I want someone to go, Here is your cellphone.

The money is for a job coach. I have made an appointment to meet with a job coach, recommended by a friend. That is, this particular job coach was recommended; the idea to see one was my own. It has to do with my idea that if one knows exactly what one wants, one is unstoppable to the extent of one’s abilities, resources and luck. And the fact that I don’t know exactly what I want.

I don’t even know approximately what I want. Do I want to punch my irritating co-worker in the face or push her down a short flight of stairs into a dark cellar? Or just let her step into an open manhole? The possibilities branch endlessly in life in even the simplest things; when applied to a person of my looks and talents the options are daunting.

Actually, that was a bad example, the open manhole is it, 100% sure. But you know what I mean. I was eating bananas today as I walked around in the rain; it was all I could do not to drop them onto the sidewalk and stand across the street waiting for furniture movers to carry a piano past. But like I said, it was raining, who wants to stand around in that?

I have been taking the train more lately, until my newish car is delivered. I didn’t feel like sitting with strangers so I stood by the door and stared morosely out the window at the grey morning sky and the near-autumnal landscape whizzing by. I tried to think of a word for what trains do when they go past besides “thunder” or “rumble”. A dam went by and some freeway bridges and I saw the old painting of Bob Marley someone had done there – some self-taught artist – was still in place, it must be fifteen years old now. Someone else had more recently tagged a small prefab concrete office building with “ASSHOLE” in black and white letters taller than a man.

6 responses to “Gotten today:

  1. apparently eeksy’s return is making little echoes all the way over at mig’s world. that last paragraph is fully the view from under the bell jar.

    i want you to get a cell phone so i can send you drunken text messages bragging about my scrabble score. at least, that’s what i mainly use mine for these days.

  2. gordon


    Some of your readers also don’t know what they want and will be interested to hear how the job coach thing works out. Good luck.

    Don’t let that larger than life Asshole get you down.

  3. Oh, the delights of having a wife who says, “here is your cellphone.” Especially after I’ve tipped mine inadvertently into the rubbish at an IRT station and realised it only later. My dear buys phones and parts on eBay with the relish of a stamp collector collecting the same stamp.

    “Asshole” in

  4. I got a spare cellphone (t-mobile, prepaid) which I don’t need anymore. Want it?

  5. Not three days ago I dropped my NEW cellphone onto the train tracks while de-training. It goes like this: be deeply in conversation with old friend. Suddenly notice that the train has been letting people off at your stop for the past minute or so. Leap to your feet, abruptly ending conversation, and dash for door of train. See train doors start to close and reflexively reach out arm of cellphone-holding hand to stop them. Successfully stop doors from closing as cellphone bounces out of hand onto tracks eight feet below. Stand on platform as train pulls out. Gaze forlornly at shiny new cellphone glinting from ballast below. Make mature adult decision not to jump down to track. Fail to receive assistance from station personnel.

    I did get the phone back about 24 hours later, but this comment is long enough already.