Anonymous man: Exits shower, dries off, sits down on toilet, looks at telephone.
Anonymous man: “Let’s see how many people liked that shakey picture of trees I ran through that brown filter.”
Anonymous man: Presses home button on phone.
Phone: Activates voice control.
Anonymous man: “No thank you I don’t want effing voice control.” Presses random buttons.
Anonymous man: “Christ how do you turn off voice control?”
Phone: “INITIATING FACETIME WITH RENEE DAVIS.”
Anonymous man: “Wut?”
Anonymous man: “No, Jesus, this is the worst of all possible times to facetime anyone. I don’t want to facetime anyone.” Pushes more buttons.
Phone: “INITIATING…”
Anonymous man: “Nononono.” Finds off button. Wonders if it worked. Puts phone into cabinet just in case.