There was a bird in the vestibule at work this morning. A wee brownish thing. The vestibule is basically made of glass, and it was trying every possiblity except for the open door. It hid under a rack in the far corner when I entered. I herded it over towards the door, but instead it flew clear into the other corner on the other side. I went over there and it hid under some art. I crouched down and reached for it, getting cobwebs all over my hand since the art here is apparently not dusted a lot. It went deeper into the cobwebs. I just about had it at one point, but when I touched it, it chirped and flew away, straight out the door this time.
The guy at the reception desk was giving me the look you’d give someone who’d just done what I had just done if you couldn’t see the bird from where you sat at the reception desk.
“There was a bird in the vestibule,” I explained.
“Big bird or small bird?”
Like there’s going to be a fucking crane in the vestibule?
Swans?
“Small,” I said.
Poor wee thing.
That was the bird I meant, not you.
I was gonna say…
Saying “big bird” would have confirmed your insanity to him. Small bird would be possible, though. Simple, really. People like to know it if they’re talking to crazies.
an ostrich would have been interesting. plus, very appropriate from my point of view, as the french words for Austria (Autriche) and ostrich (autruche), and many, many a time I have gotten confused and used the wrong one in a sentence.
“Big bird or small bird?”
“Big.”
“Red feathers with a large yellow crest?”
“Yep.”
“Long, sharp beak with serrated edges?”
“Ah… yes, I suppose so.”
“That would be Florian. He’s harmless. But watch you back. And don’t look him in the eye.”
You know what happens when you look Florian right in the eye: he takes it as a challenge. And when Florian is challenged, look out! Ka-pow!
http://www.bartleby.com/61/wavs/16/C0001600.wav
(I am just looking for excuses to use that, now. thanks.)