Weasel: Yogurt? Lo-calorie yogurt? That’s all you’re eating for breakfast? I thought the diet was over?
Man: Well, it is, but I hate to gain everything back right away, you know?
Weasel: Jesus, yogurt. So these chocolate eggs are up for grabs, then?
Man: Until the kids get up, guess so. Look, how do I know you’re really my spirit guide?
Weasel: What, you were expecting maybe a jaguar? A panther with flaming eyes?
Man: I just, you know. You expect it to *click* when you meet your spirit guide, right? Some cosmic flash of recognition.
Weasel: Be glad you didn’t get a sheep. Lots of people get sheep. That’s really fucked up.
Man: I was thinking, tiger maybe. Or a big black bull.
Weasel: Hah! Or lemmings. They’re even worse than sheep.

Man: Look, if you’re going to eat something, eat it. Don’t just lick stuff and put it back.