Nephew (10): You call that a castle? That’s not a castle. I don’t know what that is. That’s a mansion. That’s a big house. Now Helm’s Deep, that was a castle. The race of the Elves is the biggest in Middle Earth. You call those weapons? Those are crossbows! Where are the longbows? Longbows are much cooler than crossbows. Pwoing! Pwoing! Pwoing! Now, if you had a million elves in this castle with longbows, no one could take it. They could defend it forever. Except maybe against fifty cals. Fifty cals, man. Pfkfkfkfkfkfkfkf! Pfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfk! Whatcha doin?

Uncle: [Typing on laptop.] Working.

Newphew: Cool. What’re those?

Uncle: Er, zombies.

Newphew: Cool. How do you shoot them?

Uncle: You move around with the arrow keys and shoot with the space bar.

Newphew: Look at all that blood.

Uncle: Yes, well. Lego blood.

Nephew: What’re those?

Uncle: Devils. You must watch out for those, they shoot fireballs at you.

Aunt: Aha.

Uncle: The more zombies you kill, the better weapons you get. Exploding barrels are pretty good. You build a wall of those and kill a lot at once. The rail gun can kill a whole line at once, too. Personally, I like the cluster grenades the best. From a purely aesthetic point of view.

Nephew: Kewl!

Cousin (18): [Plays The Burning of the Piper's Hut on Irish harp] [To cousin] C’mere and I’ll teach you how to play it.

Nephew: Okay. [Leaves zombies for harp]

Cousin: [Shows him where the fingers go] Like this.

Nephew: [listens with profound concentration] [plink-plink, plinky-plinky-plink-plink]

Cousin: Exactly

Nephew: [half hour later] [plays first three measures] [broad grin]

Aunt: Dude! I just heard a hedgehog in the back yard. Come look!

Nephew: [dashes outside]