After I bought the lotto ticket I made the mistake of asking myself why, in fact, I wanted to win, and was plunged into an existential crisis of sorts. What problem, I asked myself, do I have that this money, were I to win, would solve?
The wheels in my brain whirred and creaked like the gears in a cheap watch turning over the date at midnight.
Nothing, really, not at the moment, knock on wood. Making the house payments okay at the moment. You can always look into the future and see stuff, like, college or whatever, new car at some point, etc. But right now, at this second, I have all I need.
The irises I planted last year and the year before are starting to bloom, as are the lilacs. The hydrangeas are coming along fine. The tortoise is finally outside 24/7 thank god.
I mentioned this to my cello teacher last night, because I hadn’t practiced fucking Romberg, practiced playing fucking Romberg, I mean, of course, not enough, and so I was stalling and he said none of the rich people he knew were happy. Their money hadn’t made them happy. I figure if you’re happy, and I see no reason why happiness should be unattainable for anyone (or joy, if you will, if you are someone who sees joy as more of a goal than happiness) then it’s not because of money.
Then I mentioned that I was still looking for a fiberglass case for my cello, a hard case and I like those roundish fiberglass ones (the carbon fiber ones are even cooler, but they cost more than my cello did) and he was all, Oh, a woman I know just got a new cello and it’s too wide for her old case, she has two for sale. Two years old, cost 2000 euro new.
So anyway, didn’t win the lotto, and now I want a cello case.
The things I want, besides a cello case and a dozen new suits and a pair of shoes, money can’t buy. I’d like to get along with my wife. I’d like to be able to communicate with people better. I’d like more time with my kids.
I was talking with Gamma last night who was dismayed that I would not get my birthday off. Her birthday is 1 May, a national holiday here. Everyone celebrates her birthday.
What do I want? Better practicing habits. A stronger work ethic where writing is concerned. The ability to get beautiful transparent colors when I paint. The ability to paint, period, come to think of it.
I dunno. Nothing, really. Peace on earth, that sort of stuff.
I had to go back and double check, but yes, I did leave a comment last year as well. Gamma and I have the same birthday!
I remember as a child, I always thought it was very cool that the USSR would have a big parade on my (our) birthday. Sadly, they do not do that anymore. I guess it is for the best really.
What is the holiday in Austria?
happy birthday to you,
whatever you do
you write very well and
you play cello too.
How much does one need to have to be considered “rich”? (Quite simple for a colleague of mine. He is Rich.)
What to do with the money? Retire. Right now.
peas on earth indeed.
Belated happy birthday. I didn’t get mine off work yesterday either.
When the lottery first came out in Ireland, it was scratch cards only. And their security system had a “void if removed” security panel on it and then another panel you were meant to scratch to see if you had three amounts the same, in which case you would win that amount if they appeared, but that happened only rarely.
I always scratched off the “void if removed” panel before scratching the main panel. It’s hard to describe the anticipation to see what happened, but it worked for me and I was delighted nearly every time I bought a scratch card. I once ‘won’
When I start thinking like that, I remember that if I won the lottery I’d have plenty of time and money to get into therapy to work through it all. Not to mention have a chauffered limo take me there!
Your brilliance daunts me sometimes, Ian. Happy belated birthday to you, too.