Got out early this morning, driving the big one into town. Dark, with fog and had to scrape a little ice off the windshield before we left. I’d be pretending, though, if I were to write something sentimental about the drive in with her in that light, and trying to talk to her, and rounding the curve to see the sunrise over Vienna, how it’s different every day. All I want to do today is throw things away and file things. Purge my life. Get rid of all these stupid distractions and these useless things that have accumulated. I’m not sentimental and I’m not nice. I am here, though, and I am paying attention.
A far sea moves in my ear, too.
i am running with it, look: if you want to purge your life of useless *things* that’s all good but if you want to compare sentimentality about the light you see when you drive your daughter to school to the sentimentality that keeps you from throwing away your first shoe-polishing kit, it’s the difference between wanting to hear the ocean roar and collecting shells. one is real and the other is just a physical reminder of something you should really better rely on your memory for holding. pretty, and kind of sweet if you have room for it, but a thing that can be purged.
and you are, too, nice. good try though.
Heck, I already knew you weren’t nice. I just didn’t know that you knew you weren’t nice.
Well, I’m glad to hear I’m the only one who isn’t sentimental (much). Although where I work I walk past a daycare in a storefront with big windows, and when I watch those little kids who’s accomplishment for the day is that they can hold themselves in a sitting position and only tumble over once or twice, and contrast that to a 13 year old who is taller than me, I get a twinge of sentiment now and then..
I’ve just got a few things on my mind right now. One is, what is blocking life’s creativeness from flowing through me? It’s just going around me right now, and isn’t bothered by this fact in the least.
Another is, how to tell healthy egotism from unhealthy egotism. It is connected with frustration somehow. Healthy is when you take care of yourself, which frees you to be better to other people.