If you’re like me, you could use a new relaxation technique about now, so I’ll share something with you I recently discovered all on my own.
This is entirely serious, by the way.
I was at a conference at the UN a while ago and noticed a little weird-looking guy. He had a large, shaved head and a small body packed into a black suit but the most unusual thing about him was his posture: erect but relaxed, devoid of the usual body language. His arms hung at his sides relaxed, but not limp. There was zero aggressiveness or defensiveness about him.
It struck me as the way an enlightened person might stand, wasting no energy but somehow completely there, and I decided to try it.
The next week was the best of my life, in memory at least, as far as relaxation and what that brought goes. By being relaxed when I stood and walked, I quickly moved to a higher level of self-awareness and consciousness.
No fooling.
I think it works like this: by unconsciously using defensive or aggressive postures (shoulders up, arms up, or crossed, or hands in pockets, etc) you are not protecting yourself, only your persona, a persona that is holding you back. Your postures are preventing you from actually being yourself.
YMMV, of course.
I did it while walking today, as well: instead of flying forward, carried forward by momentum, I took each step consciously and individually. It takes a bit of concentration to do this without looking like someone from the Ministry of Funny Walks, but it’s entirely possible.
I concentrated on the smell of the air, on how my feet felt on the pavement (through my shoes), how my body felt and what colors the leaves were. Back at work now, I’m stressed out and distracted again, but for those few minutes I was right there.
Maybe you do this, or something else (what?) already. When did you figure it out? If you try this, let me know if it does you any good.
It sounds a bit like the Alexander technique, which is perhaps a bit more mundane. I don’t know very much about it, but I believe it relates to only using the minimum amount of force needed for good posture. This is a thought that is found in music training for example, as when a guitarist is taught to only apply just sufficient pressure to the strings against the frets / neck. It’s also observed that great jumping horses only clear jumps by the bare minimum distance. Okay, I think I’m straying into deep irrelevance. Cheers.
Walking meditation is a great Zen technique. Especially this time of year.
Undoubtedly learning how to stand “openly” would be a great way to relieve the ambient stress we carry with us.
I also practice what might be called deliberate patience….I do these little self checks all day long and if I find myself feeling a bit too intense or too anything…I deliberately re-adjust my posture, take a few deep breaths and remind myself to chill out. It works well and I’m a much happier, more satisfied person. I’d write a book about it, but I’m too relaxed to undertake the effort.
Same problem here, I barely got the blog post out.
i do a lot of dance (lindy hop and other swing dances), which are mostly partner dances. this whole idea of staying relaxed, yet not quite a flubbery mess on the floor is essential to clear communication between partners.
as is walking ‘naturally’ – kind of a duh way of talking about actually putting each foot down with your entire weight over it at each step. rather than doing unnaturally tentative or stompy steps. this sort of movement helps communicate where your ‘center’ (your center of gravity, usually in your middle, round about the midpoint of a woman’s hips, slightly higher on a man) is to your partner. when you’re all tense in the arms, body, etc, you make it really hard for your partner to ‘communicate’ with you – to move you or to follow your movements.
with this sort of technique, you can dance to 300bpm for half an hour and come out of it relaxed as a very relaxed thing. rather than dancing all tense and finding it exhausting. swing music encourages all this with its relaxed approach to timing – behind the beat.
i’m obsessed with this: keeping my body relaxed, yet doing proper weight transfer. to the point where, when watching the winning jockey’s victory lap in the melbourne cup the other day i declared: “look at his CENTER!”. it’s facinating and wonderful and neatly dovetails with the principals of yoga.
That’s an interesting comparison, because when we took social dance lessons last year it was very good for me, and I think us, in a similar way. We wanted to repeat it this year, but just didn’t have time. We’ll make time for it next year.