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	<title>Metamorphosism &#187; slapstick</title>
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	<link>https://www.metamorphosism.com</link>
	<description>We of course all understand it, being intellectuals.</description>
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		<title>Musique concrète</title>
		<link>https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=5850</link>
		<comments>https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=5850#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Aug 2022 09:28:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[mig]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Das Gehirn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Metamorphosism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alex beer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beauty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kriminalroman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[musique concrète]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal injury]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[slapstick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sound]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tintinabulation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=5850</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A man walks down the sidewalk towards the Vienna Stadthalle, reading a Kriminalroman by Alex Beer, &#8220;Der zweite Reiter.&#8221; Suddenly there is a big KADONGGG!! And the man sees a few stars. What a beautiful new sound, the man thinks. KADONGGG, I love it. He rubs his head. He focuses his eyes on the steel &#8230; <a href="https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=5850">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A man walks down the sidewalk towards the Vienna Stadthalle, reading a Kriminalroman by Alex Beer, &#8220;Der zweite Reiter.&#8221;<br />
Suddenly there is a big KADONGGG!!<br />
And the man sees a few stars.<br />
What a beautiful new sound, the man thinks.<br />
KADONGGG, I love it.<br />
He rubs his head. He focuses his eyes on the steel pole of a street sign, very close.<br />
He steps around the pole, finds his place in the book, and continues walking, half of him reading, half thinking about the sound.<br />
Half of him wondering how a Foley artist would reproduce it, the THONK of brain against skull against 4-inch steel pole, the ringing tintinabulation of the pole and the sign after being struck.<br />
KADONGGG!<br />
The world is full of beauty.</p>
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		<title>Happy, happy</title>
		<link>https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=5474</link>
		<comments>https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=5474#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Feb 2020 13:29:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[mig]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Das Gehirn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Metamorphosism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[concussion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crows]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fortune]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[misfortune]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[slapstick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[theology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=5474</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The engine warning light is on, I say to the mechanic. Can you plug it in and see what&#8217;s wrong? Also the windshield is cracked and the back seat windows roll themselves down. You&#8217;ll have to leave it here, he says. We&#8217;ll call you later than you expect and say something cryptic only car guys &#8230; <a href="https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=5474">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The engine warning light is on, I say to the mechanic. Can you plug it in and see what&#8217;s wrong? Also the windshield is cracked and the back seat windows roll themselves down.<br />
You&#8217;ll have to leave it here, he says. We&#8217;ll call you later than you expect and say something cryptic only car guys understand. Or better yet, we&#8217;ll wait so long to call you that you call us first.<br />
Sounds good, I say. Can you have your cleaning lady drive me to the station?<br />
Will do, he says.<br />
I am happy because I catch the same train as always (the one I take on the days I use that station because I drop Gamma there, and not the usual station nearer our house).<br />
Then I am happy because the bus doesn&#8217;t drive away without me.<br />
Then I am happy because I figure out relatively quickly that the connecting bus isn&#8217;t operating because school vacations.<br />
Then I am happy because I can just cross the street and take a subway to a different bus.<br />
Then I am happy because, when I trip and fall on my face entering the station, I don&#8217;t break anything. Fuck you too, ground.<br />
Then, because so many nice people stop and ask me if I&#8217;m okay, including a man in a black fedora and an attractive young woman.<br />
Then, because, when I tell them I think I&#8217;m fine, they all look at me and ask, Are you sure? Which suggests it was really spectacular.<br />
Then, because, thinking about it, I had managed to avoid falling on the guy in front of me, which would have caused a domino-like catastrophic group fall in the subway station.<br />
Then because the next bus isn&#8217;t very full because school vacation.<br />
Then because two crows greet me at the office, demanding dog food.<br />
Then because I am sitting down at my desk before I realize I am dizzy.<br />
Then because youtube suggests a bunch of dark ambient music.<br />
Then because the crows are all, like, waddup? And I&#8217;m like, waddup? And they&#8217;re like, this is so fucked. And I&#8217;m like, what. And they&#8217;re like, whaddya mean what? Everything dude. And I&#8217;m like, now would be a good time for like aliens or god or someone to intervene. And they&#8217;re like, what are you talking about, you&#8217;re the god of the office. And I&#8217;m like, oh yeah I forgot.<br />
But that&#8217;s a non-interventive position.<br />
Unfortunately.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Based on a true story</title>
		<link>https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=4093</link>
		<comments>https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=4093#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 May 2012 14:11:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[mig]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Das Gehirn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Familie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Metamorphosism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dalai lama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gamma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nicorette]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[slapstick]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=4093</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I took a long drag on my Nicorette inhaler and immediately suffered a coughing fit.  The Dalai Lama sat down next to me. &#8220;Could I bum one of those off you?&#8221; he said. Eyes watering, I waved the Nicorette inhaler in front of me. &#8220;It&#8217;s the only one I got,&#8221; I finally said. &#8220;You&#8217;re welcome &#8230; <a href="https://www.metamorphosism.com/?p=4093">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I took a long drag on my Nicorette inhaler and immediately suffered a coughing fit.  The Dalai Lama sat down next to me.</p>
<p>&#8220;Could I bum one of those off you?&#8221; he said.</p>
<p>Eyes watering, I waved the Nicorette inhaler in front of me. &#8220;It&#8217;s the only one I got,&#8221; I finally said. &#8220;You&#8217;re welcome to it, though, Your Holiness.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Please,&#8221; he patted me on the knee. &#8220;Call me Dalai.&#8221; He showed me his inhaler. &#8220;I already got one. I just need the little nicotine fluid thingamajig. Ran out of those.&#8221;</p>
<p>I gave him one and we sat there for a while, puffing away.</p>
<p>&#8220;You can&#8217;t inhale too deeply at first,&#8221; he said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Yeah, I figured that out,&#8221; I said. &#8220;My kid gave me these for my birthday.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Oh, when&#8217;s your birthday?&#8221; he asked.</p>
<p>I made a generic waving motion at the day around us. &#8220;Today,&#8221; I said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Happy birthday!&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Thanks.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;So how old are you, if you don&#8217;t mind my asking?&#8221;</p>
<p>I pointed at the sidebar over on the right.</p>
<p>&#8220;Wow, you&#8217;ve been blogging a long time.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I was one of the first,&#8221; I said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Respect,&#8221; said the Dalai Lama.</p>
<p>&#8220;By the way,&#8221; he said, wiggling his Nicorette inhaler. &#8220;You don&#8217;t need to tell anyone about this.&#8221;</p>
<p>I motioned locking up my mouth and throwing away the key. &#8220;Mum&#8217;s the word.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I mean, I know about you bloggers.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Dalai, please,&#8221; I said. &#8220;Take a chill pill. Quitting making you antsy?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Ehn. Looking for a reincarnation.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Who is it this time?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;You wouldn&#8217;t know if I told you,&#8221; he said.</p>
<p>&#8220;True, true,&#8221; I said. &#8220;So what signs are you looking for?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Remembers drowning in a past life. Trips over shoelaces at an<a title="By far the best ice cream place ever in Vienna, by far." href="http://www.eis-greissler.at/"> ice cream parlo</a>r and falls on face <em>without losing ice cream</em>.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Okay,&#8221; I said. &#8220;That&#8217;s like ninja-level slapstick.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Here&#8217;s the kicker &#8211; it&#8217;s a girl. Who gives her father Nicorettes for his birthday.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Aight. Okay. I&#8217;ll keep a lookout.&#8221;</p>
<p>He was looking at me funny, but I ignored him. I wasn&#8217;t going to tell him.</p>
<p>Not until he spilled the beans on whose reincarnation he was looking for.</p>
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