Beta is currently in Oslo getting in arguments with panhandlers and we visited her over our long Easter weekend.

US town (that I’m familiar with) Oslo most resembles: Seattle – fresh air, mountains, lakes, ocean, salmon, and full of Norwegians.

Thing that most sucks about Oslo: the sidewalks are uneven. Never have I stumbled so much. I guess the cold winters lift the cobblestones.

We went for a hike with Beta. You do this by taking the subway to the end of the line, then walking back down the mountain. “Careful on the snow,” Beta said. “Sometimes there are rivers underneath. Also you can sink in up to your hips.”

We thought she was exaggerating, but she wasn’t.

We were quite tired, walking down the mountain, although it was very pretty. Some rough terrain there and the worst part was, as you are walking down the mountain in, well, not agony, but discomfort, you pass young women running uphill, pushing baby strollers (often twins) with one hand, talking on their mobile with the other hand, and not even sweating.

No wonder they discovered the North Pole or whatever.

I was surprised to see beggars in Oslo because it seems to be a rich country. You would think they would have a program to keep beggars out of sight. Oslo actually has a wide variety of beggars. Some have deformities, such as a deformed leg, or a missing leg. Some have a bad facial rash. Some look old, foreign and down on their luck. Some appear to be gypsies. The only one who got in my face was a young man, apparently from Oslo, well-dressed, who told me that I should share with him. Beta asked him what he was sharing with us and he said his city, which is why I assume he was from Oslo.

I declined because he asked for a kroner and the smallest I had were 20 kroner coins and I didn’t want to ask him for change. Also he was pissing me off by getting into my face. So he called us wonkers.

“You wonkers!” Go back where you came from etc.

What a wonker.