Getting better at the cruise control which includes keep-you-in-your-lane assistant which is practically a self-driving car but keeps you on your toes because when the road markings get complicated or confusing, such as at construction sites or road 1 merges with road 2 etc the assistant just throws its hands up in the air and says, Jesus take the wheel then you have to drive again. But i really like how it changes speeds for you when you enter a different speed zone, the car has probably already paid for itself with all the speeding tickets I haven’t gotten.

Ok, casual readers have all clicked away, let me tell you, hardcore readers, about my prostatic adventure: So anyway my urologist talked me into getting a prostate biopsy, by promising propofol and fentanyl. My wife drove me to the appointment which was out of town because I would not be able to drive myself home we were told.

When we got to the clinic the door was locked and a woman in scrubs with serious Domme vibes let us in. It’s hard to describe – body language and aura. If you know you know. I asked what was in the little cup and should I drink it she said, tranquilizer I already told you yes drink it (you naughty worm). I was scared and hard of hearing but I was like, whatever and didn’t try to explain my handicap and drank it and did not get bratty.

It was a shot glass of something strong so when I was shown to the next room I was already pretty high which was good because they were like, you can leave your shirt on everything else goes and I was like, awesome I get to keep my shirt on and scrub Domme explained in slow short sentences how exactly I was to position myself in the chair/table which was a gynecological chair except in this case an andrological chair I guess and in my tranquil state it was not as simple as it might otherwise have been but i eventually got my legs up into the stirrups and my butt acceptably close to the edge of the mattress and my arms in the arm holders and the other doctor I didn’t know said something in a friendly tone, maybe jokingly to put me at ease but I couldn’t understand much (especially the actual meaning and intention of what he was saying) because I had put everything into the tray, including my hearing aids, while my own urologist who was also there explained the procedure and set the needle in my arm and here comes the oxygen mask and here comes the anesthetic lube and explains why it was necessary to strap my legs and arms into their respective restrainers are you cool with that?

And I’m like making some cooperative noises through the oxygen mask and thinking, ok now TBH I get how some fellas make this a habit.

Anyway that’s all I remember and at some point my wife drove me home and here I am now four days later, meds worn off pretty much, waiting for the diagnosis which I am scheduled to discuss with my doctor in two weeks. I suppose if he has bad news he’ll call me before that, so no news is good news right?

Also I have begun making energy bars, which I call Mig Bars, which (from the second batch on) are actually pretty good and effective – eat one and you are not hungry for a long time, in a good way.

I also find the average mileage display on the dashboard of the Ford Tourneo really motivates me to take it easy on the gas as I try to get that average fuel consumption down as low as possible. Unfortunately, when I started the rig this morning on my morning drive to the train station, that figure had vanished from the display so someone must have changed something fucking around with the controls no idea what but now I will have to learn more about it but so far, over all, I really like the vehicle, I have decided to just enjoy the now and not ruin the experience for myself by worrying about the huge number of doodads and features that will eventually break and make life a frustrating, expensive purgatory. I can burn that bridge when I come to it.