Hello, green grasshopper

We had a big green grasshopper in the living room a couple nights ago. Naturally it kept jumping on Gamma, who currently has what I imagine is a temporary case of acridophobia, the fear of having big green grasshoppers jumping on you. I caught him with a dish and a  newspaper (directions: while grasshopper is distracted reading the paper, put the dish over him) and put him into the hanging basket outside.

The following day, I was going to the kids’ apartment in Vienna after work to pick up Gamma to give her a ride home when I noticed a green grasshopper on the dashboard. It was a different one, I think. It looked smaller.

Hello, green grasshopper, I said.

I hoped it wouldn’t jump into my face while I drove and cause an accident.

I decided I would catch it when I got to the apartment and put it in a plant.

But it was so quiet I forgot it was there. Also I distracted myself thinking about how, in the 1980s, my first decade of adulthood, I thought everyone was crazy who bought the idea that deregulating anything was a good idea and how the past 30 years have proven me right and regulations were put in place for a reason and why not just take mean dogs off their leashes and take off their muzzles and say, go for it, dogs? Time to put a little more trickle in the trickle down.

So my mind was not on grasshoppers when I got where I was going.

Also I was thinking about how blogging is dead, personal blogging like this, I mean, now that everyone is on facebook, only you can’t write the way I write here on facebook, at least I can’t.

I got Gamma and we were driving along and something green flew past and Gamma was all, eek! And I was all, what? And she was all, IT’S ON YOU! and I was all, what? And she was all, green! Green grasshopper! And I was all, oh, right.

It was on my shoulder so I rolled down the window and threw it out (we were at a light) and it flew into some trees.

In the direction of the trees, at least. Up, for example.

Little green grasshopper.

4 responses to “Hello, green grasshopper

  1. branwen

    It’s true about personal blogging, it being dead – some kind of commercialization happened, lots of blog ads and writing for revenue. I don’t mean to sound like an old, green grasshopper myself, always clicking my legs about the way things used to be. (Am I thinking of crickets? How do grasshoppers make their grasshoppy noise, anyway?) But even if blogging is dead, does that mean Metamorphosism is, too?

    It’s so weird how the world keeps changing. /poignant

  2. mig

    not for a while, i think. although, what if i finally metamorphosed? i guess i could change the name.

  3. novala

    Ah, no, don’t be dead, Mig. If I hadn’t doubled myself I’d still be blogging. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the time for a while and the stuff the blog was for doesn’t happen anymore. We have an invasion of grashoppers too, btw. Green and greyish.

  4. k

    i like personal blogs, although my writing waxes and wanes, and i think i’ll always do it.

    facebook. some of *me* appears on facebook – the *me* i imagine is really me – but i’m oddly guarded when i know family and co-workers are reading. i’ve given up wondering why that is.