Assistant manager: Here is your jetpack, Mr. Living. It has received the full upgrade.
Customer: Oh, upgrade? Like what?
Assistant manager: Here, listen to this.
Customer: I don’t hear anything.
Assistant manager: Exactly: Stealth Mode.
Customer: Kewl. And what’s this button? [ZZZT!!]
Assistant manager: Careful! Improved-functionality death ray.
Customer: Improved? Sure hope so. That didn’t work half the time before.
Assistant manager: I know. We had lots of complaints.
Customer: It kept breaking. And it was so hard to change the refills.
Assistant manager: That problem’s been solved. No need to change them anymore, you just bring the whole thing back to the shop and we change it for you.
Customer: Um, what? I can’t change them myself at all now? What about the spotlight bulbs. What happens when they burn out.
Assistant manager: Er, yeah, same maximum convenience! We change them for you now.
Customer: I hate that.
Assistant manager: It takes a special tool that only we have.
Customer: I’m almost afraid to ask — what about the fuel cells?
Assistant manager: Er…
Customer: [hovering silently now.] ZZZZT!
Assistant manager: Erk.
Customer: Well, that’s working better anyway.
MIGUEL. OMG. HI.
You WERE! awww. Tim and I are just getting over being horribly sick with the flu (I had a fever of 100 degrees yest, just like Peggy Lee). Still living in Seattle, different apartment, the unemployment here is HORRIBLE omgwtf. How are you??