Little-known facts about the jellyfish


  • The jellyfish is more graceful in water than on land.

  • According to one website, most jellyfish are asexual, but the author goes on to say that means the jellyfish have both male and female sexual organs, so they probably mean hermaprodites, and some hermaphrodites probably get more sex than lots of people, but in fact, some jellyfish actually are asexual, if you know what I mean.
  • People often think the jellyfish thinks it’s soooooo smart all the time because they mistake its shyness for haughtiness, but it actually doesn’t think so.
  • The idea of going away to an orchestra workshop for a weekend ends up freaking the jellyfish out way more than an orchestra workshop could actually freak anyone out, in reality, despite the prospect of sitting in the string section getting stabbed by the bows of 12-year olds (and stabbing them as well) and the jellyfish knows this, and so despite the freakedoutness it also looks forward to the camp, because nothing could be as bad as it is fearing, so no matter how it turns out it will be better than it currently is in the head of the jellyfish, unless the jellyfish drops dead or something, in which case the jellyfish will be dead, so who cares? Have fun at the orchestra camp, is it’s motto. To the extent that fun with kids is legally possible.
  • Assuming the jellyfish can actually find the camp, since all it has are vague directions downloaded from the Internet and a capable but snarky 16-year old navigator.
  • The jellyfish remembers, though, that there will be at least two hot adult women at the workshop. Relatively hot, anyway.
  • The jellyfish is a rather simple organism.
  • The jellyfish’s main opening is its mouth. In fact, eating is the jellyfish’s main source of pleasure, but not in any weird way. It just happens to enjoy it. Other people watch the jellyfish eat, and it makes them hungry too, the depth of the jellyfish’s enjoyment. The jellyfish should be in advertising.
  • Some people think the jellyfish is, or started out as, a collection of disparate organisms that somehow came to work together, each specializing in one function – you do the locomotion, you do the eating, you handle the existential questions, I’ll be responsible for reproduction, like that.
  • Which is actually quite fascinating and makes you wonder if humans are like that too, and identity is just an illusion. Here, says the brain, I’ll handle the thinking.
  • Sometimes the jellyfish thinks there’s nothing more beautiful and varied than rain.

5 responses to “Little-known facts about the jellyfish

  1. jellyfish are also totally inedible, as they are mostly salt. it would be like eating tears.

  2. The jellyfish’s fear of orchestra camp seems pretty reasonable to me. Yikes.

  3. sue

    Did you ever think of an orchestra as a bunch of disparate functions that come together to produce a (usually ) pleasant sound?

  4. mig

    Totally. We played our first concert (i.e. public rehearsal) today. I suppose I was the organ responsible for waste disposal…

  5. actually jellyfish is not exactly inedible. it is pretty good if you eat it as a salad with mustard and vinegar.