Sometimes you find yourself inside a joke. A blonde does something silly right in front of you. Maybe you’re even the blonde. You’re sitting in a pub, and a duck walks in, or a horse. You’re golfing, and Bill Gates, God and Tiger Woods play through.
But then space/time rights itself and, you know. Was that really a duck? You say.
I’m stuck in a joke at the moment. One of my favorites. You know the one about the traveling salesman and the farmer’s nasty, pulchritudinous daughters? That’s not the joke I mean. You know the one about the rabbi… the guy, who goes to the rabbi because his house is just too small for his wife and his kid and his cats and the
turtle tortoise? And the rabbi says, but I thought your kid was in France? And the guy says, yeah, that’s the other kid. And the rabbi says, well, let someone stay over and he does, he lets his daughter’s friends stay over on the weekends and he throws birthday parties with a dozen eight-year-old kids but that doesn’t help so he goes back and the rabbi says, so let your father-in-law move in while your mother-in-law is in the hospital and he does but that doesn’t help so he goes back and the rabbi says, now that your MIL is out of the hospital, let her move in as well, she can occupy the sofa and dispense good advice and you can install one of those raised toilet-seat things in the downstairs bathroom and the rest of youse can use the upstairs bath and toilet because the raised toilet-seat thing is so scary-looking.
And the guy shrugs and tries that. Doesn’t help. Then the plumbing breaks and the downstairs bathroom floods and they have to turn off all the water in the whole house and go to work unshaven and unbathed until the plumber comes and fixes it. And his FIL can’t find the tortoise out in front of the house one evening when it’s time to put it back to bed so he goes out and helps him look for half an hour until his wife asks them what they’re doing, running their hands through the mulch and cursing, and they say looking for the tortoise and she says, Why? I put it to bed half an hour ago. And she laughs, and laughs.
And the guy, thinking how good it’s going to feel when the inlaws move back out, goes back to the rabbi and knocks on the door and Rod Serling answers and he asks for the rabbi and Rod Serling says, What rabbi? Perhaps you have the wrong door. And the guy goes back out into the street and it’s infinitely long and all the doors look exactly the same.