War is peace

How conservatives use language to dominate politics.

On an unrelated note, happy Protection from Pornography week. Or, as the President says, “IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand.”

Happy Halloween

richard simmons likes to greet arriving passengers on first class flights

You know that hysterical screech where you wonder, is a cat getting its ass kicked out on the porch, or are women of two generations having a big fight?

Sometimes you think, it’s hard to be a man, and sometimes you think it’s a good deal.

And sometimes you’re glad Hallowe’en comes just once a year. The kids decided to have a party and 45 people got invited, somehow. Luckily some can’t make it. But the cellar is scary now, and the fakey spiderwebs are stretched in the kitchen, and four jack-o’lanterns have been artfully carved. The big one, I thought, this pumpkin would look good with a Buddy Hackett expression, and I managed to give it one. At least, it reminds me vaguely of Mr. Hackett. I doubt that many trick-or-treaters are going to make that conceptual leap. “Trick or treat! Hey, Mr. Living, great Buddy Hackett jack-o’lantern! I enjoyed him in ‘God’s Little Acre’.”

€150 million

So according to today’s newspaper, Austrians spend €150 million on diets, annually. Which is dumb, seeing as how since the point of a diet is to lose weight by reducing calories, it should save you money. Like me at breakfast this morning – all I had was some nut-chocolate protein concentrate with milk.

Likewise, 4’20” into the studio recording of “Whole lotta love” is, today at least, the crowning moment of if not Western music, rock and roll.

Electric catfish

After the thing with my neighbor and his dog I slept in my office again. I was tired, and after the thing with my neighbor’s dog it seemed like a good idea.

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This girl walks into a bar

For a brief time I thought it would be good to hang out in my neighborhood bar and pretend to be like everyone else there.

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