Customer: Oh, upgrade? Like what?

Assistant manager: Here, listen to this.

Customer: I don’t hear anything.

Assistant manager: Exactly: Stealth Mode.

Customer: Kewl. And what’s this button? [ZZZT!!]

Assistant manager: Careful! Improved-functionality death ray.

Customer: Improved? Sure hope so. That didn’t work half the time before.

Assistant manager: I know. We had lots of complaints.

Customer: It kept breaking. And it was so hard to change the refills.

Assistant manager: That problem’s been solved. No need to change them anymore, you just bring the whole thing back to the shop and we change it for you.

Customer: Um, what? I can’t change them myself at all now? What about the spotlight bulbs. What happens when they burn out.

Assistant manager: Er, yeah, same maximum convenience! We change them for you now.

Customer: I hate that.

Assistant manager: It takes a special tool that only we have.

Customer: I’m almost afraid to ask — what about the fuel cells?

Assistant manager: Er…

Customer: [hovering silently now.] ZZZZT!

Assistant manager: Erk.

Customer: Well, that’s working better anyway.