Interspecies contract

mig — Sun, 25 Aug 2024 06:04:53 +0000

It is sometimes good for your mental health when you are able to give the wheel to your stone age side that is otherwise so often repressed in today’s society (does not apply to fascists) and so I found it liberating yesterday to go into the woods and look for some natural fibers with which to make a basket; I have no idea how to make a basket so we are talking early Neanderthal in my case (archeologists have found traces of cordage-making in 90,000 year old Neanderthal settlements but based on how easily the practice of twining fibers came to me I would guess it is earlier than that) anyway I clipped a few cattails and stripped off their leaves, which I find good for making cordage as the leaves are quite long and there are smaller bits on one side of the leaves you can strip off that are good for making thinner, almost thread-like twine that is quite strong but I do not know yet what to do with that either; in fact that is the reason I am trying to make a basket because when a friend asked me, But what are you going to do with the twine? I answered, Make a basket and so there I was with my cat-tails, wandering deeper into the woods to find some branches I could use for a frame and it felt like the opening scene of a detective show where a passerby innocently stumbles upon the first body, which I call the “Leichenfund”-scene as in, I am on the sofa, TV is on, my wife is outside talking to the kale in the raised bed and I shout to her, Honey hurry, your Krimi is on, you’re going to miss the Leichenfund! and I stepped into a tuft of grass and something cold, moving fast, wriggled up my leg, between leg and trouser-leg and I instinctively did the dance (definitely an instinct imprinted in my lizard brain, requiring zero thought) that one does in such a situation, the dance we have been doing since the days of Neanderthal fiber-gathering, probably longer, and in response the cold wriggling creature threw it into reverse and wriggled off through the grass and I thought, Lizard? Snake? and mused upon the interspecies contract whereby one wriggles, one dances, the wriggler exits stage left, no harm done and how that would benefit both species in such a way that we have both evolved to this point that we can safely go our separate ways, happy with our rapidly beating hearts and a story to tell when we get home.
I found no body, but I did cut a few branches that are crookeder and less uniform than I had hoped for for a basket but perhaps that will lend the finished product an interesting air, assuming I can produce a piece of twine to tie them together that doesn’t break when I tug on it.
Then a bee stung me in the left shoulder blade when was watering the flower bed in front of the house. My first thought was a wasp, which will sting you for fun, and not a bee, which you have to give a reason and I had given bees no reason to sting me, I am mellow with bees, I was merely watering their flowers, and I said a bad word and squirted myself in the back with the hose to get rid of the wasp, which will sting you multiple times if they are in a mood to, but when I got back into the house and removed my wet shirt I could see the stinger and its attached poison sack still in my shoulder blade and realized a bee had somehow crawled up my shirt and stung me when I leaned against the wall of the house (as an American, I am always leaning against something, this is typical for Americans, a fact I read on my phone from an article citing a CIA manual for its spies under “how not to look American while abroad” that said Americans were always leaning against something; I was leaning against the interior of a subway when I read that, but everyone leans against the interior of the subway, don’t they?) and finding itself between house and shoulder blade it felt compelled to sting, sadly, because I meant it no harm and honeybees, unlike wasps, can only sting once, and this beautiful animal died, and when I pulled out the stinger I of course accidentally squeezed the remaining venom into myself making it worse, and wished for an interspecies contract with honeybees, which of course maybe we have already and which I had violated, such as, Don’t squish us and we won’t sting you. Maybe.
Anyway. I don’t know what’s going on with the animals in my clothes lately.
Just what happens when you leave the house I guess.
Now please excuse me, I must water the yard.

Two tubes talking

mig — Thu, 25 Aug 2022 16:57:37 +0000

deep inside an old radio
glowing faintly
a tube says, about
that meme you sent.
so true.
you can’t go around the anger
you have to go through it
feel it
yeah, says the other tube
also glowing faintly
a glow that starts out orange at the bottom
blue at the top
yeah.
listen to music that makes you mad
feel the anger, says the first tube
i’m mad at the car dealer, says the second
tube
maybe i’ll scream at him tomorrow
pick out songs that make you feel sad
and angry
and happy
and listen to them
you have to get out of your head,
says the first tube
and into your body

Rorschach Inkblot Test Secret Correct Answers

mig — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 15:01:36 +0000

You have no doubt read of the controversy over a Canadian psychologist posting the Rorschach inkblot plates to Wikipedia. The Wikipedia page is currently locked down, but in case you need to take this test and the psychology industry’s attempts at censorship win out, I’m posting the answer list here:

Plate 1: Ganesha fighting over a dress with Babar (50% off).

Plate 2: Clown being drowned by his evil Doppelgänger in icy pond.

Plate 3: Sexually aroused monkeys fighting over head of Britney Spears until their brains are blown out.

Plate 4: Elephant man wearing pants on his head.

Plate 5: Conjoined twin alligators dancing.

Plate 6: A cello blessing the multitudes.

Plate 7: Infant gives birth process two thumbs up

Plate 8: Pipi Longstocking, angry because her corset is so tight, strangles two blind moles

Plate 9: Radioactive seahorses dueling during the Apocalypse

Plate 10: Sarah Palin crawls from Dick Cheney's rectum with the skeleton of a nun in her teeth.

Metamorphosism » psychology

Interspecies contract

Two tubes talking

Rorschach Inkblot Test Secret Correct Answers