Comments on: Welcome to the 2022 metamorphosism.com International Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 22:19:59 +0000

My bad cat has passions quite gingery
If he could, he’d wear black leather lingerie
When his sister came round
He pinned her to the ground
To add incest to insult and injury

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 04:35:39 +0000

My cat once brought home a live bunny
And thought that it might be quite funny
To drag it to bed
And tear off its head
Then fuck its warm corpse up the cunny

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 04:29:53 +0000

My cat once brought home a live rabbit
And working as if just by habit
Dragged it under the bed
And tore off its head
Before any of us could grab it

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 17:27:40 +0000

I’ve a big ginger cat, he’s a hard ‘un
He once killed a dove in the garden
An angel’s white wings
With blood, bones and things
In heaven I hope he’ll be pardoned

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 17:22:07 +0000

In the old days they use to burn witches
Or hang them or drown them in ditches
So if you had a wife
That was giving you strife
You’d accuse them of witchcraft, the bitches

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 15:23:30 +0000

If you find that you’ve fathered a fool
Who does nothing but sit there and drool
Put him to work now
In pulling your plough
And you’ve saved yourself buying a mule

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 15:19:08 +0000

It’s willpower that teenage boys lack
But Kellogg’s got the perfect life hack
So if you are banking
On preventing them wanking
Tie both of their hands at the back.

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 14:47:39 +0000

When a neighbour popped round to borrow sugar
My immediate desire was to hug her
But she didn’t want me
She just wanted sweet tea
And my first reaction was “oh bugger.”

By: Perry Iles

Perry Iles — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 14:14:13 +0000

My cat once found something to eat
That might once have even been meat
And when cleaning his litter
I found the wee shitter
Had left writhing live worms as a treat

By: KayO

KayO — Sun, 16 Jan 2022 17:48:34 +0000

There once was a lady in Paris
Who’d chosen to dine on the terrace
Alas! Her poor tongue
Was repeatedly stung
By an angry Vespula vulgaris.

By: KayO

KayO — Sun, 16 Jan 2022 17:36:09 +0000

He knocked at the door. She said, “Hey kid,
I’ve only this minute awaked.
Your pizza delivery
Is making me quivery;
Come on in and let’s both get naked.”

By: KayO

KayO — Sun, 16 Jan 2022 17:26:30 +0000

The idiot may baffle with his lies
And others, more astute, his ways despise;
So many of us hate him –
We want to isolate him –
But “love alone can truly socialize.”

By: Serenedipity

Serenedipity — Sat, 08 Jan 2022 16:44:06 +0000

The jigger digs in human toes
And other beasts where warm blood flows
They’ll cause a staph
And that’s quite naff.
In Peruvian deserts, wear your shoes!

Can I get away with saying that I am deliberately mispronouncing the footwear here?

The wonderful thing about jiggers is jiggers are wonderful things.

By: Serenedipity

Serenedipity — Sat, 08 Jan 2022 14:58:53 +0000

The beauty of being pansexual
Is attraction is often contextual.
If a pan likes a man
Or a woman, or tran
There’s no limit to what might come next, you all.