Comments on: Announcing the Second Annual Feral Living Romantic Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest

By: tim

tim — Mon, 10 Feb 2003 11:26:42 +0000

A disease of the kidneys or liver
Would not make Nietzsche’s “ubermensch” quiver
But to have to succumb
To a glove up the bum
Is enough to cause grown men to shiver

By: iggy

iggy — Wed, 05 Feb 2003 01:02:26 +0000

On Being a Top Google Result for “Hairy”

The man who typed “hairy and nude”
into Google might feel he’s been screwed
When he gets to my URL,
finds no anal, no oral,
And in comments type “Yo, blow me, dude”

By: Sue

Sue — Mon, 03 Feb 2003 06:50:28 +0000

Have you ever seen your mother do her water?
It makes such a pretty little stream
It takes her an hour and a quarter
And you can never see her belly with the steam.

By: Flummel

Flummel — Fri, 31 Jan 2003 22:34:02 +0000

There once was a lad from Salinas,
Who rarely found fun for his penis
So he introduced his young friend
To the palm of his hand
And mounded the monkey on venus.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Fri, 31 Jan 2003 19:54:22 +0000

Philosophers should be aware
that the course of true love runs unfair.
Said Ren

By: D

Wed, 29 Jan 2003 23:21:43 +0000

You may think its just a hassle,
but a finger up your ass’ll,
guarantee that you’re healthy,
and providing that you’re wealthy,
you’ll remember: TANSTAAFL

By: Joeri

Joeri — Wed, 29 Jan 2003 19:18:38 +0000

Assuming your prostate is healthy
without further thinking is risky.
A good rectal exam
is no problemo, man!
Just as long as you’re not getting frisky

By: D

Wed, 29 Jan 2003 18:31:18 +0000

A man with a super-hard dick,
sought help curing his nervous tick,
Freud said “don’t worry brother,
just think of your mother”
and it wilted like a soggy stick.

By: Kevin McGehee

Kevin McGehee — Wed, 29 Jan 2003 17:25:00 +0000

As we wait with our hearts all a-flutter
And warplanes are gathering in Qatar
Let’s paint on one bomb
“With love to Saddam”
But make sure it’s a daisy-cutter.

By: Joeri

Joeri — Wed, 29 Jan 2003 17:23:18 +0000

The Cartesian method of doubt
should have made ole’ Descartes very proud
were it not for the fact
– ‘t was his method’s effect –
he forgot what he doubted about.

By: Enigmatic Mermaid

Enigmatic Mermaid — Wed, 29 Jan 2003 16:30:27 +0000

A translator from down in Brazil
Had a method for giving men thrills
That was quite polyglossic
And sweet on the sausage
and worth several fifty-buck bills

(Hairy Eyeball circa 2001)

By: Ron Hardin

Ron Hardin — Wed, 29 Jan 2003 13:47:39 +0000

I went to my mom as she lay,
And asked how she’s feeling today.
She said with a sigh,
I am sick, I must die.
Timor mortis conturbat me.

By: Joeri

Joeri — Wed, 29 Jan 2003 13:26:37 +0000

In the match between Plato and Hobbes
– two philosophers in between jobs –
the choice of the public
is the modern republic.
You’d imagine that’d calm down the mobs.

By: John Hudock

John Hudock — Wed, 29 Jan 2003 06:29:51 +0000

There was an old man named Loughlin
Whos sweetheart he wanted to be boffin
So he took her to Niagra
And swallowed eight Viagra
Now they can’t close the coffin.

By: Acidman

Acidman — Wed, 29 Jan 2003 05:43:24 +0000

#1
I once knew a woman named Faye
Who was quite an incredible lay
What she did with her tits
Would give a man fits
But keep him a-smiling all day.

#2
There once was a man named Saddam
Who showed very little aplomb
He acted so crass
By showing his ass
We dropped him a nuclear bomb.

I saw something on the cave walls
Running wet, like Niagra Falls.
Well, God bless my mama
I think it’s Osama
Or all that remains of his balls.

I once knew a girl named Leanne
Who said, “I’ll bet you I CAN.”
Throwing legs in the air
She parted her hair
And pissed into my ceiling fan.