Comments on: Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest

By: Mark S.

Mark S. — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:41:15 +0000

A wandering throat-singing bard
Stood holding a squid in his yard
With a boot on his head
And a zester, he said:
“These contests are getting too hard.”

By: 1904

1904 — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 06:42:58 +0000

As Eve must have said to the Snake,
“You’re SO not my type, but I’ll take
What you proffer
Since no better offer
Has come from my boyfriend, that flake.”

By: Scott

Scott — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 00:28:27 +0000

My Valentine’s just like a latte,
She’s sweet, picks me up and she’s hot-tay,
And if you stir her just right,
Then turn off the light,
She’s delicious, yet tastefully naught-tay!

By: 1904

1904 — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:09:23 +0000

I find a spatula’s handy
Because my dog’s whiskers get sandy
If I miss when I’m out
What he digs with his snout
And eats from the cat’s box like candy.

(Even in pets, coprophilia is still a kind of love, right?)

By: Jann

Jann — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 07:04:56 +0000

The barnacles covered the jeep,
On the floor of the ocean quite deep,
The lovers illicit,
Were absconders complicit.
From their friends back on shore, not a peep.

By: Jann

Jann — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 06:47:34 +0000

The Mongolian singer in Philly,
Had her name changed from Maa to Moon L

By: Jann

Jann — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 06:39:12 +0000

The orca regarded the two,
Making love on their boat; they’d no clue,
With a flick he could end them,
To the bottom,’twould send them,
He thought, “No, I’ll just savor the view!”

By: Jann

Jann — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 06:29:45 +0000

The potion she made in the blender,
Was meant for her lover, Van Hender,
“How’s Van H in the sack?”
“He’s okay,” she’d say back,
But she longed for some sex that would send her.

By: D

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 18:10:10 +0000

Adoring Nigella on telly,
In marigolds, apron and wellies,
A man dropped his fillet
tripped over his skillet
And ended up frying his willy.

(this one is decidedly Brit-centric, Nigella Lawson is a fruity female TV chef who felates kitchen utensils, marigolds are rubber gloves and wellies are rubber boots)

By: D

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 18:08:10 +0000

While flirting with girls in galloshes,
by the seashore (a place where he washes)
some evil dolphin
started making a din
And pestered all with splishes and sploshes

By: lisad

lisad — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 07:17:50 +0000

Two spry octopi in hip-waders
Playing footsy in 8 pairs of gaiters
They

By: lisad

lisad — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 06:52:09 +0000

Word on these American Streets
Is that kids love Mongolian beats.
They bang wooden spoons–
So deep are their tunes
That the great Davy Jones can’t compete.

By: UK Lover

UK Lover — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:49:22 +0000

You liked Doc Martens, didn’t you?
In them you found me at Taft Avenue
But rubber as prophylactic
Was too warm for old Dick
Now there’s lice in my pubes.

By: UK Lover

UK Lover — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 20:59:01 +0000

I love you like dad once did mom
Despite the effects of Clonazepam,
Because when you’re amorous,
Anti-anxious goes my anus;
May thy hairy British kingdom come.

By: 1904

1904 — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:01:54 +0000

“You’re a really big talent, I KNOW you are!”
I said to the chanteuse OtGONbayar.
“You’re a Mongol Madonna,
But trust me, you wanna
Lose that camel or else you won’t go too far.”

[http:www.takchin.com for the Mongolian singer Otgonbayar]